always here, never there.

So, if you're anything like me, you hate the question "how are you?" I don't so much hate the question, actually, but I hate the question because of the response.

following? good.

I was asked by a friend tonight (whom I hadn't seen in a while) how I was doing, and as I started to respond, my answer was shaped something like this:

"I'm good... really good. Nothings new, and usually that would bother me, but it doesn't right now because I know I'm where I need to be".

Why is it that when things are the same it appears that life is bad? You ask someone how life is going and the response "Oh, you know, just working, doing the same thing, blah blah..." brings about a sense of lazy contentment, not commended commitment. Lack of excitement perhaps? yes. But doesn't it seem that we condemn the art of committing and living a sturdy life at the same time?

I don't even know who I am right now writing this, honestly. I feel like these words are SO contrary to my nature... MY nature. Not God's.

I believe in seasons, and I don't just mean autumn and spring. I write this to encourage those of you who are putting your hand to the plow and living out the daily duty of the ordinary (as Oswald Chambers would say). I'm there, and I'm not always fond of being there. I'd rather be traveling and "seeing the world". But there is value in staying still.

What's the point in seeing the world if you can't see whats right in front of you? How can you understand the bigness around you without first understanding the foundation on which it is contingent upon?

Again, I believe in seasons. I know that God allows seasons of staying still and moving. Of floating and of being structured. But I'm trying to not look forward to moving too much, and focus on how to live where I AM, not where I WILL be. Because like my dad always says...

"you're never there, you're always here. Because by the time you're there, you're here".

bubbleless

There are approximately 143-210 million orphans worldwide (according to UNICEF stats). In America alone, there are 700.000 - 2 million homeless people.

These are the 'bubbleless' among us. The ones who do not have the comfort and confines of a "safe place", and experience daily the bumping of our bubbles into their lives. These children and adults do not have the privilege that many of us who are blessed with bubbles do.

See, it's hitting me that we are merely millions of bubbles all within one huge one. We have limitations, and therefore are within the confines of something greater than ourselves. We are flesh living in bubbles that exist in a much, MUCH greater spiritual world. One that we cannot even comprehend most of the time. Why is it that when we look into the eyes of a woman or man sitting on the side of the street, helpless and begging, that it pierces our very soul? What about their situation affects our hearts so much that we have to look away? Does giving a dollar or whatever change that's lying around really cure the panging in our hearts, or does it merely numb the pain enough so that we can convince ourselves that we've done our part...

I write this with more conviction in my soul than anything. I've been struggling with this concept for weeks, because if lived, it will change the way my bubble looks and feels, and I like it the way it is. I help, I do things... but it just isn't the same.

"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you" -James 1:27

Religion has become a dirty word, but its original intent is not at all what it has been made to be. The way of Jesus and following Him is to take care of those who don't have bubbles. In other words, those who get pushed to the side (by our bubbles) every day, who get charity thrown at them, but no [real]care offered. Not even the decency of a place of their own to stay and hide. They sit on the streets and are forced to expose their lives in front of everyone... there's really no option.

Then there's me, in all my bubble glory. I've always wondered why I've had a "lucky" life. It's not luck... I know I have been blessed by God, and I've struggled with why I have and not others. It doesn't seem fair... but I think I'm learning. I'm learning that what's NOT fair is that I am blessed with this life, and I don't go on to share.

"To whom much is given, much is required"

Luke 12:48

I need to care more, and I don't mean just a feeling. True caring leads to action. Just as faith without deeds is dead, so is giving without love.

"Cure without care makes us preoccupied with quick changes, impatient and unwilling to share each other's burden. And so cure can often become offending instead of liberating"

Henri Nouwen

I see an image in my head of a person reaching out from their bubble to a person who is bubbleless. The bubbleless sense an excitement of being invited in, but instead the person who is inside their bubble hands them a dollar bill, and quickly pulls their hand back inside to their safety zone. Often times the blessed assume its enough to give of their resources, when really we need to offer a place of comfort and love.

Work with me here:

Imagine yourself sitting inside of a bubble. Just do it. There? OK, now look outside that bubble... you're bound to notice something strange. Well, perhaps not so strange, because it's actually something quite familiar: you.

I mentioned in my last blog how a lot of times things look different from the confines of our own bubbles, and a large part of that is because when we are in "our worlds" we can't move past ourselves. When we go to look outside our worlds we still are inclined to see only ourselves because that's what happens when we refuse to let our bubbles merge or, better yet, pop. The more merging of bubble worlds we do, the more reflections appear. The more reflections that appear, the more points of view and "others thinking" emerges. The more "others thinking" that emerges, the more unselfishness is produced. And the more unselfishness produced, well, the more love explodes.

My friend was talking tonight about how over the years she has begun looking at people differently. When we were younger it was so easy to say "oh, i like him or her" (platonic speaking) while now it's so much more complicated. I think it's because we've gotten into this mindset of discovering ourselves, which is all fine and dandy until we begin to see only ourselves when we look at others. Think about it... we sit in our bubbles all day and when we bump into another bubble something funny happens. We peer out as best we can to see who's inside, but all the while blocked by our own reflection and insecurities. I read this the other day...

"But underneath all our emphasis on successful action, many of us suffer from a deep-seated, low self-esteem and are walking around with the constant fear that someday someone will unmask the illusion and show that we are not as smart, as good, or as lovable as the world was made to believe... this corroding fear for the discovery of our weaknesses prevents community and creative sharing... and so, when our actions have become more an expression of fear than of inner freedom, we easily become the prisoners of our self-created illusions. "

Henri Nouwen

These bubble worlds can soon become a prison of our "self-created illusions" that skew and distort the way life could be if we shared our insecurities and creativeness with each other. It begins one person at a time. One merging of a life with another. Obviously the greatest of merges is marriage. The two becoming one, and constantly giving of each other's "world" for the other, so much that there are not 2 worlds anymore, but one larger one that encompasses both the individuals. You make room for each other.

We need to make room for each other in our lives. We need to allow more room for more reflections to be seen. More ideas to be known. More lives to be loved. Aren't you tired of looking at yourself all the time?

I am.