This one's a quickie, but hit me like a ton of bricks.
Today Noah and I were talking about a situation that I'm struggling with. You see, I have this problem that if there's a glitch in life I automatically think it's this ultimate test. And, if I don't pass, I'll never get to see the other side. I'm fairly certain I'm not the only one out there like this, but if I am, I'm expecting 2,000 comments following this post on how to fix this.
After the venting and tears finally subsided, Noah responds as such:
"Did you ever think that it's not about you? {ha. thanks babe}
That it's nothing personal, it's just life?"
I was offended for a second...or seconds.... because I think sometimes trial feels better when it IS personal. When you know God is up there looking down on you and watching until you get it right. It's like the light at the end of the tunnel, and when you get there then you know you'll be rewarded. But to think that this "problem" I'm going through may just be a part of life in general? Well, gee. That sucks. That means that no matter how hard I try, I won't know if I'm any closer to my end goal. But then I'm reminded of this hymn:
My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace,
Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God;
'Tis His to lead me there- not mine- but His,
At any cost, dear Lord, by any road
I've been telling myself all day "At some point my words must be tested by my actions", and all day I've been feeling stressed. Trying to convince myself to have a happy heart 100% of the time. But last time I checked, Jesus isn't asking us to always be happy. He does, however, ask us to trust him, and THAT I do. Because at the end of the day, my goal isn't this goal I have in my head. My goal is Christ Himself.
