bubbles pt. 2?

I'm back on bubbles. I can't help it. They just visually explain life so well for me...

So, I was thinking this morning how there are so many people we see everyday, yet have no memory of or with whom we have no interaction. And that got me thinking about bubbles. I'm sure this analogy could work with various amounts of things, but apparently I'm partial to the magic of bubbles. I guess that's the 5 year old in me.

anyway.

There are so many people around us and we're so disconnected, yet we impact each other's worlds all of the time. Our bubbles may never meld into one, and we may never even blend bubbles for a little bit and then tear apart, but we affect each other. Think about when bubbles float. If I am floating here, you can't. If your bubble is growing in size, you are inevetibly taking up space that I may have desired to be. So even though we have no personal relationship, you just existing and living life in your bubble is affecting mine. Like I said earlier, this illustration can be demonstrated by many other objects, but there is something unique about this demonstration with bubbles: we can connect. Your bubble may be preventing me from being somewhere by myself, but that's not to say I cannot join in your world. It's just that do we want to? I don't know about you, but melding bubbles for me is not always the easiest of things. In some ways it is, in the fun ways. The sharing of stories, hobbies, interests, but not when it gets down to the nitty gritty situations. Not when being part of your bubble requires me to be there for you when life gets hard, or when you need to borrow money because things in your world aren't going as well. That's when sometimes we feel like our bubbles are popping and we're losing control. Which we are, because we've chosen to let someone else into our world, and we've in turn stepped into theirs.

Staying in your own bubble is possible. It's probably the most convenient and easy actually. But while you feel like you're in control, you're actually the one being bumped around by the other bubbles joining. I hope this is making sense. I wish I could show a video, but I'll stick for hoping this is not just rambling.

It's a risk to join bubbles and worlds. But without this risk you choose to live being bumped around by other people. They're essentially controlling where you can and cannot be. But to be apart of something, apart of a bigger world, to invite people into your life, and to learn how to genuinely care for other people... well, I think that sounds kind of nice.

It's when I trust the unknown that I am most secure and stable. It's when I question far beyond what I can ever hope to understand that my whole being is turned upside down and my soul hurts. That's the only way to explain it. My soul feels like it's ripping outside of itself and begging me to just believe.

Why is it when I trust the unknown that I am at peace? I guess just because it's unknown doesn't make it unreal. The unimaginable doesn't equal impossible, nor does the non-comprehensible outweigh the reality of everything that IS.

Trust is not a feeling. Same as love. CS Lewis describes it in such a way that one can never choose to promise to feel a certain thing forever. Nor can I make a onetime decision to trust what I want to believe. No, it is indeed a daily, hourly, minutely, and continuing decision to keep trusting in the unknown. trusting in the One that has existed before anything that I can understand was created.

Feelings have absolutely nothing to do with it. Frankly, I haven't felt much in months. But I know I'm not alone, and that as I write these words, the I AM that I have chosen to serve is here. I'm choosing to know. Choosing to believe. When I don't, I am just not myself.

flit with perseverance

Today I had a conversation with a friend, and it went something like this:

(my friend):

I'm not proud of myself. I just feel like a failure... like I'm the person that people are always saying 'hey look, he/she has started something again and hasn't finished it...will he/she ever grow up?' and I'm just so frustrated. So many people can identify themselves with somebody or something, what they do, what they like, and I don't have anything to identify myself with, and that makes me sad. But there are just so many things that I want to do. And so when one doesn't happen immediately, i go onto the next, all the while feeling like a failure at the one I didn't finish"

My friend might as well have been myself. We are very much alike, and he/she has put into words my sentiments exactly. People like my friend and myself have lots of ideas, and Im sure there are more of us. More of us people who genuinely want to do so many different things because there is beauty in all of them. When did this get so looked down upon? When did we need to start identifying ourself with one thing? I don't mean to say that if you have found something that you love and do well, that that's bad! It's just that not everyone can, and those of us that seem to "flit" from one thing to the next are just doing so because we get excited so easily.

I will say, though, that I recognize it's dangers; the dangers of "flitting". My dad said once that passion is overrated. Being the passionate person I am, I was infuriated to say the least. But as he continued to talk, I started to listen... Passion is a great motivator and starter, but it is perseverance that carries it through. This applies to anything in life, and especially to us "flitters." We all have something to learn, whether we're the stablest or the most free-spirited.

So to encourage the flitters, flit with perseverance. I believe we may make life a little chaotic and hard to manage at times, but we also add to life. We can show people how to create and live a little differently, and in turn we can learn how to be perseverant and stick things out from the others.

It's all about balance. always.